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"Tarnation Sage, slow down. You're making us look bad. Where'd you learn to shoot like that."
Taint no big thang.
"Five shots on five targets at 10 yards in 1.41 seconds. That's shooting. And that gun. It sounds more like farting on a vinyl sofa than shooting. What kind of loads you using?"
Taint the loads. Tis the gun.
"Sage, I've seen many a Colt before, and I ain't never seen anyone shoot as fast as you just did."
But this taint no ordinary Colt. Thes hyars Mama Sage's Electrical Colt. The Fourth Generation ZAA. Zero Action Army.
"An electric pistol?"
Thet's rat. Thars a battery pack in the handle an a charger I kin plug in at home or in my cigarette lighter.
"How's it work?"
Whal sir, thars a little old spark thet goes from the firin pin ta the special Mama Sage's Electrical Primer. Thet spark sets of the powder in a special way. It lights the powder behind the bullet first an works its way back ta the rim. Slows the burn down ta a hundreth of a second. ‘Llows pressure ta build. Thet's why it sounds like thet. Save's on powder too.
"But you called it a Zero Action Army. Don't you still have to cock it to advance the cylinder?"
Nah, thet hammer works but it's mostly fer show. thars a lill-bittty solenoid in thar that advances the cylinder after ya jes shot. Kinda like an auto-wine camera.
"But Sage, ya still gotta aim."
Naw ya jes sweep. Jes hold down the off/on switch, er trigger. Thars electrical magnets in the fron an rear sights. When the magnets line up with the steel targets, a lill compter done tells the gun ta shoot. Ya kin sweep real fas an ne'er miss.
"Dang Sage, where can I get me one of those?"
Whal, I'm glad you asked. The onliest place ya kin git it is by loggin on ta Mama Sage's BP Boutique. The $2499 price is steep, but it's worth it. An ya'll need ta git some primers ta go with it. Ya only need ta press them in once. Ya'll mess ‘em up iffn ya try ta punch em out with yer dies.
"And I can get the primers at Mama Sage's BP Boutique as well? Will they shoot black powder?"
Yep.An fer an extry $50 ya kin have yer SASS number as yer serial number on yer Colts.
"Well then I'll take two of them Colts, with my SASS number, and 500 primers."
I caint. The onliest place ya kin get em is ta log onta Mama Sage's BP Boutique. An I should tell ya. Ya kin git the primers now but thar's a 12 year wait fer the Colts.
"It'll be worth it Sage. I'm logging on right now."
"I kin see thet End a Trail trophy in yer den rat now."
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