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| Howdy Miz Sure Shoot, how come ya look sa blue?
"That durned ex-husband of mine. He done cut a notch in my suspenders and my britches fell when I was shootin a stage. Got DQ'd when I turned to look who done it. Broke the 170. And my ex was heehawin like the jackass he is. Had a round left in my Bounty Hunter. It was mighty tempting."
He wuz downrat mean.
"Surely was, but that's not why I come to see you Sage. I got this big ol tom skunk trying to move in under my porch. My ex won't come trap it. What do I do?"
What you need is Mama Sage's Skunk Be Gone. It's a combination of female skunk scent and fermones. Thet skunk a yurs will go whereto ya set it off. Jes set it off away frum yer house.
"My ex lives 5 miles outta town in a fifth-wheeler trailer in the woods. If I set it off under his trailer, would my skunk go out there? I could take care of two skunks at once."
Miz Sure Shoot, iffn ya set one of Mama Sage's Skunk Be Gone off under his trailer, every male skunk within 50 miles would show up. Mind you iffn yur skunk is female you'd wanna use Mama Sage's Skunk Amore.
"Kin ya use both together?"
Whal I suppose, but ya'd have all these male skunks lookin fer females and all these female skunks lookin fer males–id be a heckava skunk orgy! Then purdy soon thangs id settle down a might an id be kinda like a big ol skunk commune with a passel of skunk yungins runnin bout.
"Anyone ever do thet?"
Whelp once, a bit of each accidentally got inta a gents Bull Testes II cologne, but I never heard what happened.
"Where can I get some?"
The onliest place ya kin git Mama Sage's Skunk Be Gone an Mama Sage's Skunk Amore is ta log onta Mama Sage's BP Boutique. Both are $29.95 each.
"Give me two of each. I want to be sure."
I cain't. The onliest way ya kin git it is ta log on ta Mama Sage's BP Boutique.
"I can't wait. This is gonna be fun!"
Ya don' min' iffn I watch frum a distance?
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