Live Field Report from Sage, Special Operations SBSS Air Cav aboard UB-1 Baloey somewheres near to the Mizouree Boarder

Kin ya hyar me? Is thes thin on? Kin ya hyar me? Thes hyars Sage, Commander of the Special Air Operations Squadron SBSS Air Cav aboard the UB-1 Baloey somewheres near to the Mizouree Boarder. Kin ya git that photo up.

I'm hyar ta tellya thet my idear ta steer thet tornader way frum the trailer parks in West Kanas tward the Stealth Bullet Factery in Tuscaloosa Okleyhomey dint work sa well. Fact it dint work tatall.

Whilest I's thinkin bout it, couldja find out the name of that widder woman whose house done got set oner barn and giver my sorrys. Ya kin teller, "Whilstwise we dont target civilillians, we sumtimes have some of that coll.. coll.. Sumtimes we miss. By a hole lot. But thes hyars war dadgummit."

Boy Capn, them tornaders shur are windy. Why I dint git no closer then a hundred yards an my ship commenced ta goin faster and faster. Truth be knowed, I caint remember mucha what happened. All I knows is thet my basket kinda tipped up sidewise an I gits stuck ta the floor. I twasnt able ta move my arms nor legs and I starts slidin in my britches. Then my cheek skin commences movin back ta my ears and I guess I done blacked out. Next thin I knowd, I'm rat here sumwheres near the Mizouree boarder.

Capn, I'll reportn in fur reassinment presently, but seeins how I seem ta be travellin that direction anywho, figgur I might tswell head on down to wards Cuba. I'm fixin ta give thet ol windball Michelle a little nudge twards the Stealth Bullet Distreebution Center in El Paso.

Nuther thin, kin ya ask the Supply Sarg iff'n he's got other rations sides Hormel Chilli. I been a noticin that geese are givin me a wide berth.

Thes hyars Sage, Commander of the Special Air Operations Squadron SBSS Air Cav aboard the UB-1 Baloey somewheres near to the Mizouree Boarder.