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...but iffn I git in front of them tellyvision cameras, the good folks'll see what I look–
"You should have thought of that before you blew up half of Asia. People tend to notice–turn around you're on."
Rat hyar? Hhhhmmm.
Howdy folks. Welcome to the fire. I'm Sage, Commander of the Special Air Operations Squadron SBSS Air Cav, and pilot of the Balhawk UB-1-2. Thes hyars Professor Cubby Bear Media Bam–Relations.
Yesterday afternoon, an SBSS Special Air Operations task force an two civilians entered the NORINCO Shenyang-Wusan Complex in North East China. Hyar we found a large shipment of Super Stealth Bullets thet had been made at thet facility. Presently we detonated some explosives an effectively destroyed what we believe to be the source of the Secret Stealth Bullets. Kin ya put up the sattylite photer.
Thes hyars a sattylite photer of the Shenyang-Wusan Complex jes ta the west a the city of Shenyang. Ya kin see the complex wharhouses an the adjoinin air strip. Kin ya put up the second photer.
Hyar ya see a photer thet shows the damage. Yawl have any questions? Rat thar.
"Commander Sage, does the success of this mission represent a major victory that means the end of the war on Stealth Bullets?"
No ma'am. Thes hyar IS a major victry, but thes'll be a long campaign. We blowed up the place whar Super Stealth Bullets was made. But thar's still lots of the Super Stealthers out thar. Most likely in the hands of terrists. An Super Stealthers are jes a drop in the bucket compared ta normal Stealth Bullets. And Ma'am, ya kin bet yur bottom doller thet as long as thars one Stealther terrist out thar, I'm a gonna git im.
"Commander Sage, if I could have a follow-up. Just what is the difference between Stealth Bullets and Super Stealth Bullets?"
As ya knowed. Stealth Bullets bin plagin SASS shooters fer years by passin through steel targets without goin clang. Super Stealthers kin pass thru the target an kick up dirt ta the side a the target an as much as 6 feet IN FRONT of the target. They even bin knowed ta ring steel on a differnt target.
"Commander, how many Super Steath Bullets are still out there?"
Don' know, Ma'am. A heap. Nuther person. Rat thar.
"Commander Sage, how were you able to penetrate so far into the Republic of China?"
"The details are classyfied, but mosly we jes flew our Balhawk UB-1-2 low thru the mountains, landed an commandered a coupla vehicles an drove in."
"Commander, what exactly is a Balhawk UB-1-2?"
Kin ya put up the stock photer?
"This is obviously a slow craft. How fast can it go, and how were you able to fly over such a highly populated area of China without being seen by thousands if not hundreds of thousands of people?"
Thets classyfied. You thar.
"Commandar Sage. How were you able to deliver such a powerful explosive device by truck? Was it a nuclear device?"
It was not a nukylar device. Its classyfied.
"But there is no known conventional device that can deliver that level of destruction. Even the 'daisy cutter' only covers 600 yards."
It kin iffn ya put it on the testicle of a–
"I'm Professor Cubby Bear. We believe that the explosive may have ignited an undergound bubble of natural gas."
"Commander Sage, you were saying about putting the device on a testicle?"
I said testicle? Uh..I meant...uh...testament. If ya put it on a testament ta the evil-doers in dealing Stealther terrorism, it is bound to have large effect. Nex question.
"You said testicle."
Nex question. This will be the last one. You thar.
"Commander Sage, who were the civilians on this mission and what were their roles?
Jackie Chan and Kwai Chang Caine, Ma'am. They were along as cultural advisors an interpreters. Thank you. That's all.
Thet went well, doncha think Doc?
"Marvelous."
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