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Thes hyars Sage, Commander of the Special Air Operations Squadron SBSS Air Cav aboard the dragon deskized Balhawk UB-1-2 over the Mountains east of Shenyang. Ooouuueeee, thes Balhawk''s a sight. Gotta Dragon head over the basket an silk trailin'' out behind. We couldn''t get them Fu Dogs made outa C-4 inta the basket, them bein 400 pounds each. So Whiskey an Sargent Dakota tied em off the bottom an rigged what looked like talons round them.
Whiskey done thought up addin wings an ‘‘tached them ta the fuseyloge with aluminum poles. Theys jes light nuff thet iffn ya bob the ol Balhawk up n down they gits ta flappin. We don'' do it all the time cause when we do ol Crickside gits ta showin us whut he et. Thars one time we''s a bobbin an a flappin over thes hyar market place thet was crowded up thickern bees on a hive. Whal sir, them Chinese saw us an was a pointin (guess they aint never seen a flyin dragon a carryin 400 pound C-4 Fu Dogs afore) when ol Crickside lets loose with whut had ta be a gallon a three-day-old chunky oatmeal right out the dragons mouth.
Twas the durnedest thang ya ever saw. It kinda clumped up inta thes big ol white teardrop makin a bee-line fer the crowd. Though ya couldn''t hear it, ya kin tell thet the hole crowd gone quiet an froze up like a possum in a headlight. Whal Sir, this ol feller sellin them round kites on a stick was a frozen an a lookin when he took it rat square in the face, knockin im tail over tea kettle. I jes caint imagin what thet ol feller thought bout thet.
Kin ya show im the photer? Whacha mean ya dint take one? Well put thet one up.
Capn, as ya kin see this photer was took fore the legs an wings got on.
Anywho, thangs gone purdy smooth. We landed in the mountains and Whiskey an Dakota disappeared fer a spell an come back with a big ol black ‘‘63 Caddy an Mitsubitchy truck with three axles on the back. We purdy much drove rat up ta the Norinco Shenyang-Wusan Complex Chairmans office. We had ta stop at the front gate fer a minute, but Jackie Chan an Kwai Chang Caine talked us thru. Jackie swares up n down thet the guard recognized the stolen vehicles before ol Kung Fu used sum sorta Jedi mind trick.
Thet Chairman was happier then a cowpoke on a whores hollerday when he saw them 400 pound Fu Dogs. Had us jes set them in fronta the Complex HQ. Thet part was a mite tricky cause Sargent Dakota had ta shove the detonaters up the Fu Dogs bottom hole as we pulled them offn the truck.
Ol Kung Fu turned out ta be mighty useful. While Whisky an I, with Jackie translatin a course, described all the particulars of the .45-70 ""Iron Marshall"" revolver that SASS wanted, Caine jes kinda disappeared. I jes looked back an he was gone. Bout a half hour later, he was back actin like he was payin attenshun the hole time. Than he gives me this look thet meant, ""I gots whut we come fer. Its time ta skeedaddle."" Funny thang is he dint move a muscle. He jes looked.
Capn, it turns out thet ol Caine walked inta an elyphant of a Super Stealth Bullet shipment. All marked Winchester, Blackhills, Remmington--the list goes on. Enough ta fill a cargo ship. An git thes. Theys was marked ""Shipment 10 of 10 Care of Red Guard Quartermaster, Bagdad."" I hate ta think thet thar are 9 shiploads of them Stealthers out thar in the hands of them sidewinders.
Whal at least thes last shipment taint goin nowhars. Sargent Dakota, thet radio detonater switch ready. Than git on with it.
Capn. Thet was one hellava blast. Thars a mushroomy cloud goin up higher n we are, oh maybeso 10,000 feet. Thars a bunch a them thar secondary xploshuns an streaks an sparklers like fireworks. Now thars a dust cloud like wind a comin out from the base a the mushroom, goin out in all directions and–– holey cheeses, git thes bucket turned roun an light a shuck. Its gonna hit.
Capn I don know iffn ya kin hear thes. Its mighty windy round hyar. The dragon done ripped off an the Balhawk is flyin sidewise withn the rudder pointed downwise. We''s still in the basket, but the basket is tipped sidewise an we're jes kinda hangin ta what ever we kin. Im gonna go now.
Thes hyars Sage, Commander of the Special Air Operations Squadron SBSS Air Cav aboard the Balhawk UB-1-2 out over the China Sea a ridin a tidal wind an a headin fer Hawaii.
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