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Thes hyars Sage, Commander of the Special Air Operations Squadron SBSS Air Cav, 23 miles Northwest of the UB-1-2 Balhawk,on the ground an layin low insida Red Cross Hospital. Capn, everthangs all dusty an blown ta smithereens. Danged dust gets all in yer nose an eyes an clothes an down yur back and in yur guns. Wiskey done rigged us all Balistol holsters so we could clean our irons ever water stop. Kin ya show ‘em the photer.
Whal Capn, we got all gussied up in our Klucker duds an wrapped them beach towls round our heads makin sure ta tatch that Postiv Kar Ma Mitter (PKE) the Professur Cubby Bear done made so thet the B52s don' Cluster Bomb our butts. Thankee Doc. We learnt one thang frum the jungle. Ifn ya get mud in yur spurs they don' jangle, so we done made up a mud pie an doctored em up. It got mighty sweaty walkin like thes, but Crickside done pointed out that Afgannies probably don' take ta wearin longjohns, britches, shirts, vests, scarves an sixguns under thar Klucker outfits.
Anyhoo, nothin much happened till after we snuck pass the road block an wuz walkin up the street in Kandoohar. Then this Afganny feller comes arunnin an a yellin in American, "What the hell you doing here? Praise Allah, I have to get you off the street." Whal sir, thes feller grabs my arm an commences ta draggin me ta his house. Thet ol house wus purdy big ceptin the whole back side wuz blowed off. He stuck us inna cellar an went ta see ifn the coast wuz clar.
He sayd his name wuz Dr. Mustasha L Shreef or sumthin like thet. He done gone ta school at MIT an wuz a....whatchu call them doctors thet build dams outta dirt an make lectrical plants outta the waterfall? Anyhoo, he's one ovem. Aftern bout an hour of jawbonin, I had a hankerin ta git on with the missun, but he werent havin none of it. I toll im thet I wuz on a very important highly classyfied missun, an he kepp peatin stuff like, "How can I get this through your heads. It is worth more to the Taliban than all the opium poppies in the world to capture a group of Americans dressed like that." He wuz pointin rat at ol Slim. Which werent fair tatall cause Slim wuz the onliest one of us with pink ducks on his towl.
It dint make no nevermind cuz a knock come on the door an the Doc went inta the street ta talk ta a coupla fellers wearin black towls, an we snuck out the hole int the wall. Ol Slim wuz the lass one out an he said thet them black towl-headed fellers commenced ta slappin thet ol Doc round. We wuz on the lam an must bin a sight, a holdin up our Klucker robes an a highsteppin like a skoolmarm chasin a youngin.
Bout the time we ducked in thes hospital, we heared a 8mm shot. What's thet? Naw, the pitch twernt rat fur a nine. Walther? Capt. We're purty sure it twas a 9mm Makarov.
Thes hyars Sage, Commander of the Special Air Operations Squadron SBSS Air Cav 23 miles Northwest of the UB-1-2 Balhawk,on the ground an layin low insida–
Capn, a coupla them black towl-headed fellers jes come in hyar sportin AK47s an commenced ta jabberin like all getout. Ceptin one them gets ta flickerin his eyes round the room an twitchin his fanger an we all double tapped em left ta rat frum under our Klucker robes.. Capn we caint return em. Wiskey's ketched fire an he had ta roll on the floor fur a spell. Capn, ol Slim jes pointed out thet them fellers only had a coupla rounds in thar AKs. Crickside, you n Slim look roun an see what them fellers were hyar bout. Whal brang it on over. How many cases of ammo ya reckin thar are? Don't jest stan thar, do thet test fur red an green spots.
Capn, thars guns an RPGs goin off not frum hyar an thar gettin mighty close. Gimme sum of them cartridges. Capn, we got hole passel a Black Hills, Starline, Winchester an Remminton all with Super Stealth Bullets. Empty cases? Whal bring–
Course I heared it. It couldna gone off moren ten yards away. Heck the walls wuz shakin. Now jes quit yur whinin an bring em over. Whal lookee thar. Thars writin on the insides of the case. See thet C an O. Whiskey, gimme thet Balistol. Thars an N an nuther O.
NORINCO
Capn we taint after Terrists. We's after Commies.
Whal don' jes stan thar. Vamoose. Ya don' wanna look like them fellars on the floor.
Thes hyars Sage, Commander of the Special Air Operations Squadron SBSS Air Cav 23 miles Northwest of the UB-1-2 Balhawk, a hightailin an a highsteppin on ta home.
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