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| Thes hyars Sage, Commander of the Special Air Operations Squadron SBSS Air Cav aboard the UB-1-2 Balhawk deep within enemy terrytory. Kin we show the photer? We kin show the photer; they caint see the classyfied stuff on the insides.
Thes hyars our new vehical jes fur use by SBSS Special Operations–code named Balhawk. Purdy aint it. Now fur the mission. SBSS Intellygents have got creddybull and pertinent information thet thars an newfangled secret super stealth bullet out thar. Thes hyar stealth bullet can not only go rat thru metal targets without makin a clang, theys kin kick up dust to the sides and as much as 6 feet IN FRONT of the target. Additonally, thes hyar bullets can rang targets ta the sides causin costly proceedurals.
Intellygents also tells thet the Towelybun Farces use nothin but these hyar super stealth bullets. Our mission is ta mosey over ta Afgannystan an sneak in real quiet-like ta see whats we kin fine out. Ta do thes, we need ta get sum deeskizes. So we are hyar on the ground deep within the hostile terrytory of Venice Beach, Callyforny. I done got a me a blue Haywhian shirt and some short britches with checks on'em ta blend with the natives. We jest bout finshed hyar an will be leavin directly. Hold on a minute, two hostiles lookin to be a mated pair are a comin over hyar. I'll leave the mikryphone on, soes you kin hyar.
"Dude, nice hat."
"Ohmygawd. Look. He's wearing spurs. What's the badge for? You like pretending to be a sheriff?"
Thets a SASS badge ma'am. Single Action Shootin Socciety.
"Yeah, dude. I heard about you guys There's like 45,000 of you guys, huh? They like dress up all retro and get together like once a week and shoot their guns off and stuff. It like they screwed up a past life and now gotta live it out now."
"So you're like stuck in the 19th century, huh? What's with all the beach towels? "
Thets classyfied ma'am.
"Dude, I really like the pink ducks. It's like so you."
"Ohmygawd. Ohmygawd. I was like reading that like people who like act all macho and stuff are like soooo more likely to be like latent homosexuals. So, cowboy, you a switch-hitter?"
"Dude, think about it. If like one out of every eleven people are homosexuals, you've got like 4000 gay caballeros in your outfit. "
Git way frum me you sickos. Whatchu heehawin bout pardner, just get these towels on board an get ourselves outta hyar. Whatcu lookin atme like thet fur. Oh no. Oh no. Doncha even thin it.
Capn, these Callyfornicans gots sum kinda mind weapon thet sounds like Americin but jest don make no sense tatall. We jes scaped with the har on our teeth. Thes hyars Sage, Commander of the Special Air Operations Squadron SBSS Air Cav aboard the UB-1-2 Balhawk, deep within enemy terrytory an hightailin it ta Mexco.
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